The Good Pastor

"Times are hard, the lands are dry, and hunger reigns supreme. There is no money! Yet, when I look around, I see many people flourishing in their lives like a fish in water. What did we do to God that he blesses other people except us? That he answers their prayers while ignoring ours? What sin did we commit that God cannot forgive?" The person saying this is Bishop Phuravhathu speaking to his friend in Christ, Mr Rerani. 

"Why do you say that, my friend? God is fair and has no favourites! He has blessed us all, but the size of the blessings may differ. God has blessed us with unique gifts that we can leverage to change our lives for the better. If the sun shines on you, you should bask in it because tomorrow, it will shine on someone else." The person saying this is Mr Rerani, who is consoling his friend. 

"You have hit the nail on the head, Mr Rerani! Bishop Phuravhathu has an amazing gift that can penetrate the soul of anyone born of a woman's womb who hears him preach. On top of that, his tongue remembers the prayers of the angels in heaven and can heal the sick through prayer. He should use his gifts of preaching and healing to make money and save the children and me from the burning fire pit of poverty. My husband has access to a lot of money but has deplorable financial habits!" The person saying this was Mrs Tshidingilise, the senior wife of Bishop Phuravhathu, lending her thoughts and voice to the issue. 

The past six months have not been easy for Bishop Phuravhathu's church, which is named God's Witnesses. There has been an exodus of congregants who were leaving the church. The iron fist control that the church has over the congregants' lives is the primary reason why members were leaving and joining other churches. God's Witnesses is financed directly through tithing and donations from its membership. With so many church members resigning and leaving, the amount collected every Sabbath has decreased substantially. This departure has placed the church in a dire financial position. 

Greed is a bottomless pit that nothing can ever satisfy. Bishop Phuravhathu has made millions of Rands over the years through the church but is still seeking more! It is a thirst that no water can quench, a hunger that no exotic delicacy can eradicate, and a sadness that no amount of money can fix! Bishop Phuravhathu's wealth is more than any man can spend in one lifetime. It is a solid and concrete legacy that his great-grandchildren will enjoy. 

Because of his lifestyle, Bishop Phuravhathu constantly needs more money. The money leaves his pockets as soon as it comes in. The vehicles that Bishop Phuravhathu drives are imports from America and Germany. Most are imported directly without modifications, meaning they are left-side driving in a right-side driving country. The most extensive and expensive is a Burgundy Rolls Royce Phantom with six doors and all the entertainment amenities Bishop Phuravhathu enjoys while travelling long distances visiting different church branches. 

"Tell me something, Mr Rerani. Do you know what I can do to stop this exodus of members that is destroying my church? I can't just sit back and watch everything unfold. We need to do something urgently to save the legacy and livelihood that we have come to depend on for our very own survival!" The person saying this is Bishop Phuravhathu, who is looking very worried. 

"I honestly do not see a problem here, my friend! The church is not a building, nor is it a mountain. The church should be accessible to the masses who need it. Let's move the church closer to the people. When we are in the presence of the people, we can use your gifts of preaching and healing to attract new members to the church. The more members join, the more money we will make when they tithe every Sabbath. Everything will return to how it was or better, and you will shake my hand when it happens!" The person saying this is Mr. Rerani smiling. 

 

While the conversation continued, a fellow friend in Christ, Mr Tshipanere, joined the discussion. "This church needs a change in structure. The congregants are leaving the church because of the unilateral control of the governance and running of the church. The church's work should not lie solely on the shoulders of one man! Let us elect an executive committee that will help run the church. When the departing congregants see this change, they will return to the fore!" The person saying this is Mr Tshipanere advising his senior brothers in Christ. 

"Listen to me and listen to me carefully! Any actions I take on behalf of the church are not of my thinking but instructions from God, who communicates with me through visions. God has instructed me to build the biggest church in the region. If I don't follow God's commands, I will feel excruciating pain and may even lose my life. What do you call that? The seat I am in is scorching! It only looks attractive from the outside and through rose-coloured glasses! Some of us are suffering!" The person saying this is Bishop Phuravhathu. 

Eventually, after much deliberation and concessions, they agreed to form an executive committee tasked with the smooth running of the church. Bishop Phuravhathu took up his position as the head of the church, Mr Rerani as chairperson, Mrs Tshidingilise as treasurer-general, Bishop Phuravhathu's niece Kwekweru as Team Leader for the worship team, Tshigopi, Bishop Phuravhathu's grandchild as secretary, and Mr Tshipanere as the Church Organiser. 

"To attract new members to the church, we need to figure out what any human being born of a woman's womb fears. We can then exploit that fear to gain loyal congregants who believe the church will protect them. We will use their gratitude as an opportunity to enrich and improve our lives. So tell me, what do humans fear?" Bishop Phuravhathu is saying this and looking around to see if anyone has any ideas.

 

"There are certain things that every human being fears, my friend! Those things are death, sickness, and witchcraft. If you approach a man during the happiest day of his life and start talking about witchcraft, that happiness quickly dissipates and disappears! To gain a loyal following, we need to always emphasise to the masses that members of our church are free from death, sickness, and witchcraft. When they die, as all humans do, it will be God's timing and not due to the evil acts of man. The congregants will be invulnerable to witchcraft, and if they fall sick, it will be because they are not living according to the laws of the church. Do this, and you will see what will happen!" The person saying this is Mr Rerani, offering an answer to the question asked. 

"Lying is a sin! If the community ever finds out about our lies, it will be the end of our lives. We do not want to find ourselves wearing tyre necklaces and burning alive when the people we have exploited seek justice. We cannot preach to people that they must abandon sin while we still live in sin! We cannot preach that people will defeat death if they are still living in sin! To tell people that they have defeated death is an insult to God, who said that the penalty for sin is death! We can never defeat death; we can only delay it!" The person saying this is Mr Tshipanere. 

"This church does not appreciate me! All the songs of worship come from this very brain! I am like a bulldozer who removes the tree stumps and grades the gravel road to build a tar road. When the tar road is complete, I cannot use the same road I helped build! I will leave this place and start my church!" The person saying this is Mr Tshipanere, complaining and thinking to himself. 

Bishop Phuravhathu is a very charismatic and popular figure in the community. In Limpopo province, where the church headquarters are, everybody knows him. His house is at the base of Takaswi Mountain, which comprises eight round huts and an actual church building. Bishop Phuravhathu has two wives and nine children, six boys and three girls. Most houses are now used as guest houses for visiting pastors and the sick while awaiting prayers of healing by Bishop Phuravhathu. 

"There are so many churches with fake pastors and miracles; we must be smart about our approach! People trust people! We need to select trustworthy people to give testimonies of the healing they received at God's Witnesses. These people will be the bait that lures the fish to the nets! The three pillars of healing at the church are testimonies, songs of worship, and teachings of the word of God by Bishop Phuravhathu." The person saying this is Mrs Tshidingilise. 

"Wealth is found with the masses! If a million church members give you R10-00, you can become a wealthy man overnight. People can turn a commoner into a royal king in the blink of an eye! You have to use your brain." The person saying this is Mr Rerani. 

"According to the constitution, fraud is a crime in our country. Fraud in front of God is a sin! The price of sin is death! We must not turn ourselves into vampires or ticks whose very survival depends on living off the blood of others. No crime will go unpunished!" The person saying this is Mr Tshipanere warning his senior brothers in Christ. 

"Tshipanere has a soft heart! Be courageous! Don't be like a cat scared of a mouse or a dog that barks at meat! You will eat late if you are not careful! Nothing is as it seems; this is the real world! If the sun shines on you, you should bask in it because tomorrow, it will shine on someone else!" The person saying this is Bishop Phuravhathu, laughing out loud. 

The home of Bishop Phuravhathu is always full of sick people seeking help. The church's congregants are always boastful about how they found healing in the church and how everything in their lives started going well when they became members of God's Witnesses. Critics of the church say that there is no God in this church, only dark magic at work. Who knows the truth? I don't know, but there is no smoke without fire. 

"Guests of Bishop Phuravhathu, the healing that we receive in this church comes from the church's pillars: songs of worship, testimonies, and the word of God. Look around, guests of Bishop Phuravhathu! The church has healed everyone here! We no longer live our lives in fear of witches. A powerful she-witch is a little girl playing with dolls, and a he-witch is a toddler tugging on our trousers with no risk of causing any harm to us. We walk where the agents of evil said we wouldn't walk; we pass the corridors that witches said we would not pass and walk on a minefield of traps meant to entrap and harm us with nothing to fear. We no longer live in fear! Our healing extends to our children, cats, dogs, and everything we own." The person saying this is Mr. Matevhutevhu, who is giving testimony in church. 

Bishop Phuravhathu sits in the middle of the church on his gold-encrusted throne and watches on. He is wearing a black clergy robe with black crosses. In his right hand, he holds a long rod with a large cross on top. Around his waist, he has thick wool-woven ropes of different colours. 

The Sabbath of January 22nd, 2023, at 9 a.m., and the church's work has begun. Bishop Phuravhathu is on the podium and using his gift of preaching to bless the congregants. He passionately preaches about the love of God, who loved us so much that he made the ultimate sacrifice. 

The worship team sings songs of worship, and the congregation dances beautifully. The music they are playing now is " We are enjoying ourselves being in the wings of the Lord, Jesus Christ." 

"Where are the others? We hardly see them. Have they left the church? Do they still believe in Christ?" Bishop Phuravhathu is saying this. 

"Hallelujah!" says Bishop Phuravhathu. 

"Amen!" The congregation responds in unison. 

"God has spoken to me; let us all say amen!" The person saying this is Bishop Phuravhathu as he begins his sermon. 

"Amen, Hallelujah!" The congregants respond with jubilation and joy. 

"God told me that you should not worry about what you will eat, what you will drink, or what you will wear! He said, I will give you a community!" The person saying this is Bishop Phuravhathu, as he continues with his sermon. 

The congregation's answer to everything Bishop Phuravhathu says is "Amen!" Bishop Phuravhathu pauses to hear the congregants say "amen" and then swiftly continues his sermon. 

"I used to be a respectable businessman in all the land. Everything I touched turned to gold. Until one day, God took everything away from me. As if that was not enough, I developed a strange illness that even the best doctors, prophets, and traditional healers couldn't cure. All my businesses went bankrupt, and my assets forfeited to the state to cover my tax liability. I had nothing to my name except the clothes on my back! It is true what they say: when days are dark, friends are few! My relatives deserted me, my friends did not want to associate with me, and everything seemed hopeless." The person saying this is Bishop Phuravhathu, as he continues his sermon. 

As Bishop Phuravhathu preaches, you can hear, 'Amen, Hallelujah!' The congregation has undoubtedly reached the gates of heaven in spirit. The holy spirit manifests in human form in strange and mysterious ways. Some are hysterical, some are collapsing, some are praying in tongues, and some may be mistaken for being drunk. At this time, no one is looking at another person. Everyone is deep in prayer and sweeping their pathways to heaven.

 

"Today, God has rebuilt me anew. He found me as a skeleton, a shell of my former self, yet he rebuilt me! I was a dead man with sin living! I was lost, but as the lone lamb lost to the shepherd, God left most of his sheep and entered the wilderness to find me. He brought me back with him to the kingdom of God. I was in darkness, but now I am in light! It is the same with you all, my children. You have been bought once again by blood at a very high cost. Let us avoid and run away from sin because sin kills. The penalty of sin is death!" The person saying this is Bishop Phuravhathu, who is addressing the congregants. 

Bishop Phuravhathu concluded his sermon by asking for a song enabling the church to praise, worship, and thank God. The worship team started to sing, and everyone in the church began to dance. It quickly turned into a competition to see who was better and who could get noticed by Bishop Phuravhathu. When the dancing had subsided, and the congregants had satisfied their urge to dance and could do so no longer, Bishop Phuravhathu would signal for the music to stop. 

"This is not just a building that we call a church! You are on holy ground! He who touches this holy place will heal without telling anyone about his illnesses; their problems disappear before they leave the building. Miracles happen in this place! Now, let me hear the church rejoice!" The person saying this was Bishop Phuravhathu, who was continuing his sermon. 

When Bishop Phuravhathu had taken his seat, Mr Rerani took to the podium and reiterated the crucial messages from his sermon. Most guests, especially those visiting for the first time, were in awe of God's wonders and grace. How fortunate are they to be seated in a church that defeated witchcraft, death, and illness? They decided then and there to be members of God's Witnesses. 

"When you enter the gates of this place, the power of God has already started working on you. The illnesses, problems, and evil spirits that stick to you like shadows are left outside. They can not enter this holy place! Nothing can touch you as long as you are devoted and committed to the church! The healing is free! God has healed us without having to reach into our pockets!" The person saying this is Mr Rerani, addressing the crowd. 

"All of you who have problems and suffer from illnesses, God has heard your cries! He looks at you with his loving face and shows you mercy. He has healed you completely and permanently so. You are covered in a divine veil of protection and blessings when you become a church member. God has healed us for free and will do the same for you. He didn't only heal us; his powers have extended to our children, cats, dogs, and chickens! My God does not discriminate and is not stingy with his love! He makes it rain on both the good and the evil! The big thing is to open up your heart and let him in." The person saying this is Bishop Phuravhathu. 

Mr Rerani explained to the guests that the church relies on three pillars to heal the sick. The three pillars of healing at the church are testimonies, songs of worship, and teachings of the word of God by Bishop Phuravhathu. He then proceeded to call on Mr Tshikegevhenga to come to the podium and give his testimony.

"As I stand before you, I want to thank God Almighty! God, I thank you for Jesus! Jesus, thank you for blessing Bishop Phuravhathu with his unique gifts of preaching and healing! Let there be peace in the church!" The person saying this is Mr Tshikegevhenga, who is starting his testimony at the church. 

The noise that followed was that of: 'Amen, hallelujah!'

"Look at me, my friends in Christ! See how fresh I look; look at my cheeks! When I came into this church, I was all skin and bones because of illnesses that terrorised me. When I came for the first time to this holy place, I had to be carried by a stretcher because I could not walk! Everyone has a different reason for coming to this church. Remember and focus on why you are here and what the church has done for you. If you focus on what others are or are not doing, you may lose yourself." The person saying this is Mr Tshikengevheḓa speaking as he continues his testimony. 

"At this church, God's Witnesses, everybody is equal! Regardless of your status in society, you are equal. A doctor is treated the same as a cleaner. That is God's love, equal, and it does not play favourites. God's blessings upon our lives may differ in size, but his love never changes. We are a church of rules, and as such, a person must do what is required and asked for by God. Failure to do so may result in illnesses returning more aggressively than before, which may lead to their death."

He went on to say that he was very sick when he found this path. He had blood cancer. Every morning, when he washed his face, he would ooze blood from his nose. He said he visited doctors, prophets, and traditional healers, but no one could help. "I lost a lot of money trying to treat my illness! When I entered this place, the Honourable Bishop Phuravhathu prayed over me, and the illness disappeared." The person saying this is Mr Tshikengevheḓa concluding his testimony.

As soon as Mr. Tshikegevhenga concluded his testimony, Mrs. Matevhutevhu was ready to share. "I, too, would like to thank Bishop Phuravhathu, who showed mercy on me and my life. When I came here, creatures of the dark, spawns of Satan, made my life a living hell!  Everything I touched turned to ash, and nothing was going well. When the creatures visited me, a strong wind blew, and I would hear tiny footsteps on my roof. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I would start feeling sick to the point where I thought I would not be alive the next day. At one point, I got so desperate that I decided to leave my bedroom and sleep in the outside toilet. The male creatures turned me into their wife and would demand sexual favours. When I refused, they would use their claws to scrape my back and cause me great pain! 

As soon as I arrived here at this church, the creatures disappeared. When I hear strong winds at my house, I scream out Bishop Phuravhathu's name three times, and the winds subside. Since I have been here, I have given birth to a daughter. Bishop Phuravhathu, thank you for everything you have done for me!